How to stop ruminating according to a CBT therapist in Austin
As a CBT therapist in Austin, I encounter client after client who struggles with rumination. It cuts across all of my specialties. When I discuss this concept with people I’m working with, this is how I like to explain it.
These cows do to their food what you are doing with your thoughts, feelings, problems, etc. They regurgitate and rechew. Want to get off that looping ride? A CBT therapist in Austin can help you find the exit.
What is Rumination?
There is a group of animals described as ruminants. They include cattle, sheep, deer and other similar animals. They are all hoofed mammals, with an even number of toes, who regurgitate and rechew their food as part of their digestive process. Okay, cool, thanks for the animal biology lesson, Jessica, but why is that relevant to me?
Well, this is how the concept of rumination within the world of psychology came to be. We realized that people are doing with their thoughts what ruminants do to their food. Mental rumination is essentially regurgitation and rechewing of not just thoughts but also feelings, problems, upsetting events, or negative aspects of yourself.
Mental rumination is normal, natural, and adaptive…to a point. It’s driven by unresolved goals. We ruminate when we have an unmet need or are faced with uncertainty. It becomes a problem when the rumination is more chronic and less tied to an actual goal.
Rumination is often a form of avoidance. Here are some examples of how that shows up.
Rumination helps you avoid uncertainty by masquerading as planning. “I’m just trying to be prepared!”
Rumination helps you avoid making decisions by masquerading as considering all the options. “I’m just trying to be thorough!”
Rumination helps you avoid making needed changes by masquerading as finding a better solution. “I just want to make the right decision!”
Rumination helps you avoid acceptance of something difficult by masquerading as trying to understand. “I just need to know why this happened!”
All of these things sound good. Why wouldn’t you want to plan, consider options, find a good solution, and understand? Well, the answer is they’re good until they’re not.
How Do You Know if You’re Ruminating?
Ask yourself a couple of questions to make the distinction between helpful problem solving and rumination.
Ruminative thinking has no end or exit. A CBT therapist in Austin can help you navigate out of the endless loop.
Does the problem exist NOW and IN THE EXTERNAL WORLD? Or are you trying to solve a problem that COULD happen but as of yet has NOT actually presented itself? That’s rumination.
Are you coming to a useful decision or plan? Or are you getting stuck in a loop that goes nowhere? That’s rumination.
Understanding Rumination
Rumination is a behavior. That means it is ultimately something you are choosing to do. Wait a minute, I hear you say. I don’t make a conscious decision to do it - it just happens! I should clarify. Rumination is a behavior that has become a habit.
What’s a habit?
Automatic and hard to control
Frequently performed
Triggered by a cue
A conditioned response
Resistant to change
Stopping at red lights is a habit. You approach an intersection, see the red light, and your foot hits the break. You don’t deliberate. You don’t weigh the pros and cons. You just act. If the traffic laws were to change and the new expectation was to stop at green lights instead, imagine what that would look like. Most people would have every intention of following the new rules. And they would continue stopping at red lights. Then they would realize “oh wait, that’s not what I’m supposed to do anymore” and go instead. For a period of time, people would have to be more thoughtful and intentional about approaching an intersection. They would have to actively decide how to respond to the light based on the color. And they would do it wrong a lot. Eventually the new behavior would become more second nature but it would take time and practice.
So just knowing a behavior is unhelpful and wanting to change it isn’t sufficient when the behavior has become a habit. It requires intentional behavior change.
What Can I Do About It When I Catch It?
Changing mental habits is like taking a different path than you’re used to. You have to make an active choice to go in a different direction. A CBT therapist in Austin can guide you through this change.
Shift from ruminative (why) to concrete/constructive (how.)
Ruminative thinking is focused on “why”.
It analyzes the causes, meanings, and implications.
It tends to be passive, abstract, and global.
Concrete thinking is focused on “how.”
It describes how it happened and plays the event like a movie.
It tends to be active, concrete, and specific.
Here’s some examples.
Ruminative Thought: My life is pointless.
Notice how the ruminative thought is passive. Well, my life is just pointless, that’s what it is. It’s abstract. What is a pointless life exactly? I don’t know how to define that. I don’t know what that means. And it’s global. My whole life and everything in it is pointless.
Concrete Thought: I am lonely. I want more friends.
The concrete thought is more active. Making more friends is an action step. It’s concrete. I can understand feeling lonely and wanting more friends. It’s specific. It clearly defines the problem.
Ruminative Thought: I am a terrible person.
Again, passive. You’re just a terrible person. There’s no hope in this statement. There’s no possibility of things improving. Also, abstract. Define a terrible person. Does your definition of a terrible person even apply to you? And global. It implies that you are terrible to your core, through and through.
Concrete Thought: I didn’t follow through with my commitment and my friend is going to be upset with me. I want to apologize and try to repair the relationship.
This is much more descriptive. This actually makes it clear to me what the problem is. I don’t know how to un-terrible someone but I can work with dropping the ball on a commitment and talking through how to approach the repair. Notice that we’re not sugarcoating. I’m not asking you to do unrealistic positive thinking. I’m just getting to a more accurate description.
What now?
I’m a CBT therapist in Austin. Rumination shows up in all of my specialties, which are sleep issues (insomnia, circadian rhythm disorders, nightmares), OCD, PTSD, chronic pain, and Radically Open DBT. If this spoke to you, and you fall into one of my specialties, I’d love to talk more! Fill out my contact form to schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation with a CBT therapist in Austin.